I don't normally write about friends and their petty disputes. But a recent spat among two friends (was three? four or five? Can't get the equation right) somehow dragged my pretty name into the mud as well.

I have long washed my hands off the matter (or matters) and happily hopped out of the tangling messy circle. You know, one of those things that you've tried warning but nobody listens to you, then they stepped into the shit-hole and starts complaining to you, and you narrow your eyes and say "I've told you. Now I'm really not interested to know."

I'm happy to steer clear out of trouble and keep those troublesome drama-mamas out of my life. But this morning my sleepy eyes struggled to read the one unread SMS which was sent last night. The message which contains a lot of 'f***' and 'hell' got me all woken up. It read:

DeaR frenz, from now onwards, pls leave me alone. Dun fucking hell disturb my life n spread my matters to anyone. I really felt betrayed by all of u. So stay out of my face n hp for the time being. I dun noe if i can even forgive you. Thanks. Nite.

Grammar and spelling errors aside, I had to deconstruct the message to understand what was going on (because clearly, I had no freaking idea what triggered this drama-mama on her relapse again). And since she already thinks she has been betrayed no matter what my defences are, I reckon there's no difference putting up the message here anyway.

So I recollected my composure, went to cool myself in the shower, pondered hard about the message. Since her last outrageous irresponsible ludicrious outburst of emotions (which until today I still cannot understand), I have distanced myself from this trouble. Some homo sapiens appreciate friends' concern while some don't. Instead they would prefer to shoot everyone dead within a mile and then blame it on their 'depression'. As far I'm concerned, that's anger management problem and being an A-hole. I would normally snigger at the message and get on with my life. But this time, I think my sane girlfriends and I have had far enough of nonsense from Miss Drama-Depression-Mama. Birds on the tree told me that The Best Friend has been receiving many nasty profanities-laced messages too.

'Thanks. Nite'? What the hell was that? First you bang repeatedly into someone, then you get down your lousy Honda and say, "Eh if you nothing, I make a move first hor." Rubbish.

I decided to finally say my piece:

Excuse me but I f***ing don't care about your matters a f***ing long time ago. Please check your f***ing facts before you come around f***ing innocent parties. Have a f***king good day.

That felt good. I guess it's been floating in my head for the longest time and finally I let it out. Then comes the interesting part when Miss DDM rebuked:

How dare you call yourself an innocent party? U r Juz a fucking ugly bitch who imagines that u r extremely pretty. Tell u wat, e truth is u r e ugliest person I've ever met. Juz get out of my life.

Really?

Is that the best she could come up with?

I had such petty statements made when I was in primary school. That was like err... let's see... 15 years ago! Wow. I didn't know at age 25, one's mentality could still be.. what's that word? Juvenile? Even I felt like retching with disgust when I read it. But I mean, really? To fight over who looks better? I'm no beauty pageant quality... but I can win Miss DDM without taking my shirt off and acting like a cheap whore to every walking breathing man who can still do the horizontal mambo like the old dog next street. TQM.

Get out of your life? Point taken. Two years ago. In fact, I make myself clear:

If you think hard enough, I've LONG gotten out of your life. In fact, YOU should stop messaging me.

The verbal cat fight ends here. In this long fight against verbal outburst and insanity management, I've noted a few interesting points and would like to share it with Miss DDM (if you're reading, you pathetic one):

1. If you want a 'surprise' birthday party, get a clown to do the job.
2. If your poly friends are true to you, get them to throw you a surprise party.
3. If you're upset that we didn't throw you a birthday party, well, you didn't even turn up. What can we say? 'BEST!'
4. If your UTI troubles you again, get your poly friends to fly to Australia to get you the best supplements to make you feel better.
5. If you feel insecure because of MY LOOKS, then lock up your precious boyfriend in the fridge.
6. If you feel left out because I didn't invite you to my Christmas party, well, you asked me to stay out of your life.
7. All the emotional outburst and ranting off like a crazy bitch... If its sympathy you need, I ain't got a hanky.