It's been a shitty day. Ah, that's an understatement. It's been a shittyshitty fishfish day. (Never mind how these words are deprived.)

You'd never believe what I've been put through today. But that story for another day. When I feel well enough to narrate my day without interjecting every sentence with expletives. The Best Friend is alarmed at my... (quote) "interesting" experience. I say, I can write a book or film a sitcom/drama on my life. The Emmys will have a tough time catergorising and may as well hand me the trophies for:

Best Leading Actress in a Comedy
Best Leading Actress in a Drama
Best... Entire Supporting Cast in a Comedy/Drama
Best Picture in Every Scene

But anyhoo, if my experience can be of good/invaluable reference for those who are also experiencing crap in life, I'd be very glad to share some pointers with you.

1. Never, ever, trust anyone to do anything right. (Except God of course) If you're an atheist, then good luck to you.

2. Don't say Murphy's Law doesn't happen to you.

3. Check your printers regularly, no matter how infrequently they're used. You never know when your life depends on it.

4. Stop being an anti-social. Everyone needs a friend.

5. A cup of warm frothy skinny latte will make everything seem better. At least for a while.

6. When in doubt, unwind your car's window, thrust your fist upward and scream, "What's wrong with you???"
It helps. Just make sure the passing vehicle isn't a police car.