Let's just admit: which one of us goes visiting during Lunar New Year because we sincerely want to wish our relatives well and we miss them so much that we can't wait to knock on their doors to see their bright cheery faces when they see ours?

'Fess up!

C'mon we know the real reasons:
1. The gold's in the ang baos (openly known secret).
2. To gamble and wipe clean someone else's ang bao collection.
3. To gamble like there's no tomorrow; know the police wouldn't kill your joy since it's CNY.
4. To watch all the CNY special variety programme at the relative's house since you have no Starhub.
4. To show off your latest arm candy to all the loser 'still single' cousins.
5. To show off your latest Maserati.
6. To persuade all your relatives, including their friends, friends' friends, that they have been leading a sinful life, and by donating to all charitable organisations, their lives would be redeemed forever and ever. Who needs Jesus?

I do remember that when The Dad's extended family was still around, parents would whip out booklets of donation vouchers and passed them around while their kids would cower behind their parents - too paiseh to ask on their own. Well, Singapore schools certainly have a good way of putting the kids in a difficult position. I'm sure I was the only person who had such awful experience. My school would purposely give out donation voucher booklets to us, just a few days before CNY, and 'encouraged' us to sell all the vouchers since (quote) 'it's time to remember the unfortunate during the festive season' (unquote).

My arse. You might have guessed it - I refused to conform. It's utter bullshit. The only reason is because you hardly meet that many people at a single short period of time, and the school teaches us to make good use of the opportunity.

And so I went back to school with the booklets still intact except for two teared snubs. I sold one to myself and one to The Mother. The teacher questioned if I had put in effort in selling the vouchers. I told her I have no family.

I think the worst you could do during CNY is not about finishing all the bak kwas at your relative's/friend's house, nor you accidentally breaking a glassware on the first day of new year. To sell charity vouchers or so-called attempt to spread 'the message of love' in any name, is just darn irritating. (And a taboo to me) I would not disagree that CNY provides an advantage to garner as much donations as possible. People are feeling joyous and wouldn't mind being more generous than usual. I guess I wouldn't mind if my lovely niece Ashlyn asks for my help when her very-dumb-arse school requires her to do the same.

But consider this: your boyfriend's relative meets you for the very first time. She greets you and asks if you're working.

Oh that's nice of her. She's engaging me in a conversation.

You tell her you're working and intends to embark on enthusiastic and meaningful conversation with her.

"Oh you're working hur? So working means you can buy this," she whips out a very suspicious-looking booklet-like thing out from the thin air.

"For only ten dollars you donate....yada yada yada"

Thereforth, all you could hear is static. At the mere mention of 'donate' your mind goes blank and it suddenly dawns upon you why you hated CNY since primary school. Because you loathe such situations.

You might have guessed anyway: the above stated scenario was played out to me. I was asked to buy the most f-ugly calendar I've ever seen in my life. SQ said it looked quite nice. He's right. But I was peeved and I intend to stay biased. Donated to where? Queenstown. Why? Because his cousin's husband is the MP of that town.

But seriously, buay pai seh meh? I bet she hasn't even remembered my name! We haven't even knew what each other's horoscope signs yet, what we like and dislike, and what colours undies we usually wear and she jump-started the whole relationship and elevated up it to 'Surely you can donate some $$ and make my husband look damn good in PAP'.

Normally, I would simply reply: Fark off. I don't even live remotely near to Queenstown! And my ten bucks would be better off contributing to the pool of money to repair my leaking air-con.

But I took out a red note anyway. In spite of wanting to roll my eyes so so SOOO badly, I reckon I should stay nice and sweet to his relatives. It's just this once anyway. And the red note is from one of those ang baos I got from his extended family. No loss actually.

P.S. The f-ugly calendar stays with SQ. I don't need to be reminded how 'well-intended' some people could be.