Posted in c'est ma vie
For the record, we, Roman Catholics (RC) do not object believers from getting a non-believer as partner. Maybe I shouldn't put out a blanket statement because there might be a few out there who think otherwise. But as far as I am concerned, this is what I am taught and I believe in.
Since my baptism, many have posed this question to me: "Can you to marry a non-Christian*?"
"Why not?"
"Because I know there are Christians who choose only fellow Christians to date."
That is true. I too, know of too many Christians who would only date/marry fellow believers from within their own communities. So much so some would end the relationship once they found out their partners are non-believers. It's as if you need to check the RELIGION field on the pre-dating form.
I didn't understand and a Christian friend explained that they believe if two individuals cannot agree on the most fundamental (and clearly very important) aspect - their religion beliefs - in this life, then all else would not fall in place. Simply put it, the building ain't going to stand tall if it's built on soft mud. Something along this line.
Another Christian told me that her church has strong views on 'do not yoke with the unyoke'. It interprets this as a warning from God that we should never put ourselves with the non-believers.
Now, we all have different interpretations on a single same issue. Moreover, we're talking about the ancient book - the Bible. It's tricky how one lifts the words, interpret and apply to a modern day situation. Can we compare the world from 2000 years ago and apply its principles directly to our society, like a cut-copy-paste? Am I supposed to only socialise with people in my church? Is this helpful in the growth of this faith community?
In my humble opinion, I reckon not."If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?" (Luke 6:32). He promises to bless us when we reach out to the strangers in our midst. Why? Because when we do, we are becoming more like him.
The faith stands on belief of spreading love and joy to the world. By interacting with non-believers, I am an example and witness of God and my love for Him. Who knows I may bring joy and hope to those who've lost it? Who knows whom I may have touched just by being a humble disciple of God? Everyone of us is the Father's instrument to reach out to everyone else (believer or not) to bring the community closer to Him and to one and other.
- Word Among Us, 4 July 2008
Clearly, I'm no saint nor one without sin (I still spurt profanities and contain a lot of righteous anger in me). Who am I to judge if a non-believer deserves to be my friend/boyfriend/husband?
God doesn't choose to love us because we're good, kind, faithful or rich. He loves us because He is full of goodness and love. I guess one doesn't choose to love because the other party is a fellow believer or goes to the same church. We should choose to love another because we are Christians, and we should love with an open heart and mind, just as God accepts us with unconditioned love.
By the way, the Catholic Church doesn't sideline homosexuals. It is the ACT and BEHAVIOUR which we object to. I guess I could go with one example. I don't smoke. Smoking is harmful in many ways. I cheered when smoking is banned on clubs' dance floors. Janet, my partner-in-crime during poly days, smokes hell a lot of ciggies. In fact, my clothes always smelled if I hung out too long with her in one day. Despite my disdian for the act of smoking, Janet was still my best partner-in-crime. I would hang out with her at the faggers' corner while she lit her Malboro Lights Menthol. I would still talk and laugh gleefully with her as 'model' students walked past and stared. Mostly I was asked if I smoked too. 'No' was my answer. Why can't a non-smoker hang out with a servile smoker?
Study the phrase 'do not yoke with the unyoke', one shouldn't take the its literary meaning and pass off as God's teaching. Delve deeper into the message, one'd understand that God doesn't object us walking with non-believers, because Jesus too, sat with a group of sinners for dinner. But He is warning us against being influenced by those who are not living His Ways. Sure I can hang out with Janet, but I should be careful of being tempted to lit my first ciggie.
Misconception debunked? I hope so. =)
P.S. And occassionally I'd nag at Janet to quit harming her body because 'it's a myth that smoking helps you to lose weight'. I seriously hope she listened.
*Christian - a general term for believers of Christ which includes Roman Catholics and all denominations of Christianity.
I do not see any reasons why one can’t marry or date a Non-Christian, as if that by doing so will results anything destructive to the faith. I do wonder why such traditions are still ridiculously conformed even to today.
I think it is necessary to interpret not only the holy messages, but also understanding historical settings where such rule and laws are relative. Of course, the social culture back then were very different; man always has the say and power. Secondly, it always reminds me of the Jewish origins; Those days as depicted, Jews were too proud to spread God love to other race and clan, kind of the elitism attitude. Well, for this we know, such elitist culture are still exist among some of the believers today.
Third, I wouldn’t deny and fully agree to the statement that two individuals must agree on the most fundamental aspect - their religion beliefs. A marriage not only to one another, but a marriage into the lord’s house, his kingdom.
Fourth, we understands the spiritual warfare going on everyday and that we are facing the bombardments and taunts by the fallen armies. It make huge spiritual sense to have your house built on solid rock.
There is no wrong to date a non-Christian, everyone is a non-believer and sinner by birth, till the day he or she took that choice into lord’s kingdom and vow to disassociate with any demonic work. Marriage or not marriage, as Christian, it is our duty and role to spread the truth and open peoples’ eyes and ears to God. Doesn’t that make sense to spread your love and preach to those non-believers whom you love and is within your circle? Instead of just arguing over whether you are a believer or non-believers, and whether you should even go out with them. Unless, you are talking about marriage, again this I will emphasize that both should conform into similar faith, and so that their love could be perfect under the blessing and witness by God.
Cheers.
Well put. Being Christian is being non-selfish. We cannot keep the happiness of finding God's love to ourselves only. But by spreading this love, we are leading by examples. Forcing non-believers to convert will only put them off. I think, by letting nature go its most natural way, God will know when to make use of us to enlighten others. =)
Great! It is good to know that you are continuously questioning and seeking more about what is between "truth", human interpreted truth, and what is interpreting straight from words.
In time to come, you will begin to see more and sense more spiritually towards the it. See beyond denominations, and the holy blood and gifts that flows underneath it.
AMEN.