I miss travelling and exploring the big big world out there. To travel, is akin to a mental and spiritual rejuvenation for me. I absolutely enjoy filling up someone else's shoes and live life an a local at whichever destination I go.
Unfortunately a few episodes of politicking were on-going at my previous job and I decided that I have to give up the job, and the benefit of being able to travel the better part of the world. Something's gotta give. It's been five months since travelling has ceased. Increasingly I feel the frustration swelling up within me. No longer can I tag my posts under 'Travelogue' nor illustrating my travel adventures to friends like a wide-eyed girl who has visited the Wizard of Oz and returned to tell her story.
Now, everyday, I commute to my new office like any other Singaporean. I stand in line to get into the train; with frustration. I queue to wait for my food at the hawker centre; with frustration. I need to jostle for space in the shopping malls; with frustration. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate my citizenship. However, I also value the freedom to get out there to see the world and experience life which can never be found here. I need freedom to move. Increasingly, I find it tedious to breathe easy as I lead my daily life 'typically'. Yesterday is simply the template for tomorrow. This is driving me mad.
When I'm not working, I do plan in engaging myself in various activities. It cheers me up, quite briefly. Even if it is only chilling out at Dempsey Hill, enjoying a cuppa coffe on a Sunday morning. I like that; it reminds me the times when I would walk down the streets of Sydney alone, find myself a nice quaint cafe to while the afternoon away.
I wonder how this odd character of mine would affect my relationship with Archie. I don't want to be stuck in a relationship so 'comfortable' that we'd spend the rest of our live and times together only to watch DVDs or late-night television and nothing else. I will shoot myself in the head.
I am getting increasingly bored. Perhaps not a very responsible statement to make. But true to the damn bone, I have this feeling of being helplessly bored. In life, in the relationship. Every morning when I open my eyes, and every night before I drift off to the dark, I'd notice my breathing becomes heavier. It's becoming harder to breathe than being trapped in a sauna room. I want to talk to somebody about this, then again, they might just say I'm crazy and ungrateful to the blessings I've received thus far.
I want to get away for a while. I just need to figure how.
if fun doesn't come to you, go find it!