Posted in c'est ma vie , le love
Once a while I'd like to sink into a darker deeper reverie, cut ties with the secular world, soak myself in solitude (and food) and hum along with life like a tiny puny ant marching away with the rest, with only one end in life - death.
I am somewhat twisted in the mind. A lil' dysfunctional, I'd say. I cry when I talk serious stuff. I cry more when people don't take me seriously. I have a extreme love-hate relationship with The Mother; my mood depends on hers. I carry a burden slightly heavily than the rest of my peers. I have worries more than the fizzy bubbles in a Coke can.
Which is why I should not be allowed to date. If ever there is such ruling, I shouldn't be allowed to torment the good male homo sapien race. I haven't lost count (maybe soon!) of the number of times I've contemplated a breakup with SQ. I could eyeball numerous tabs of pages on my Firefox at the same time but I cannot multi-task life. As in life's life. The boring-shite-wtf-life. There is always an urge to purge elements of life to declutter the picture.
Sure a 'soulmate' makes me laugh, listens to me, shares my dreams, warms my tummy. Despite all that, I do also prefer a queen-size bed and a sizable Swiss bank account. I cannot explain why. Perhaps life is getting down at me and forcing me to picture it in a more pragmatic manner, otherwise it would 'shoot me brains off'. You will not believe that I'm a closet optimist. Or is it closet pessimist? I think they mean different things but now I cannot tell the difference.
I like the boy. I really do. But I'd wish he's with someone more cheery, less jaded, smarter, cornier or less anal about the jeans-&-slippers combi. In fact, I'm probably more afraid of losing him, than him losing me. Is that why I'm always preparing to be the one to say the unthinkable first?
I know. Warped logic. Then again, 'the heart knows the reason, of which the reason knows nothing of'.
Anyway, '500 Days of Summer'. I bet this one's gonna be a tearjerker.
I am somewhat twisted in the mind. A lil' dysfunctional, I'd say. I cry when I talk serious stuff. I cry more when people don't take me seriously. I have a extreme love-hate relationship with The Mother; my mood depends on hers. I carry a burden slightly heavily than the rest of my peers. I have worries more than the fizzy bubbles in a Coke can.
Which is why I should not be allowed to date. If ever there is such ruling, I shouldn't be allowed to torment the good male homo sapien race. I haven't lost count (maybe soon!) of the number of times I've contemplated a breakup with SQ. I could eyeball numerous tabs of pages on my Firefox at the same time but I cannot multi-task life. As in life's life. The boring-shite-wtf-life. There is always an urge to purge elements of life to declutter the picture.
Sure a 'soulmate' makes me laugh, listens to me, shares my dreams, warms my tummy. Despite all that, I do also prefer a queen-size bed and a sizable Swiss bank account. I cannot explain why. Perhaps life is getting down at me and forcing me to picture it in a more pragmatic manner, otherwise it would 'shoot me brains off'. You will not believe that I'm a closet optimist. Or is it closet pessimist? I think they mean different things but now I cannot tell the difference.
I like the boy. I really do. But I'd wish he's with someone more cheery, less jaded, smarter, cornier or less anal about the jeans-&-slippers combi. In fact, I'm probably more afraid of losing him, than him losing me. Is that why I'm always preparing to be the one to say the unthinkable first?
I know. Warped logic. Then again, 'the heart knows the reason, of which the reason knows nothing of'.
Anyway, '500 Days of Summer'. I bet this one's gonna be a tearjerker.
I wonder if it better that you are feeling this way now, than after you are married.
*sigh*
We both need a champagne fix soon.
*pat pat*
I know how it feels. Work, family, r/s.
cheer up k~!
Thanks peeps. I'm always finding ways to cheer myself up.
Yes, Karen, we need to get twisted dead drunk soon... I'm thirsting for Brown Brothers' sparkling wine...